Farm Love

“Steeler and Oreo are kind of like you and Dad.” My six-year said about the tom cat, Oreo, mounting our mama cat, Steeler. He described it further as hugging and kissing like mommies and daddies. While my husband and I watched the cats have sweet, sweet kitty love in the driveway, my mind raced to come up with an explanation that didn't require any detail.

My mind went another way, “Seriously! How many litters is Steeler going to have this year? Based on the last kittens colors, I would say Oreo is the baby daddy. Oreo isn't even ours, he isn't tame, and he is only around at dawn and dust, typical tom cat. They couldn't even wait until dark when the kids would be asleep! Effing Cats!!”

I had forgotten how unfettered a farm can be. Now combine that with little boys that think poop is hilarious, and a chicken's butt is watched more than Caillou on public television. So how do you explain farm love to kids? Just keep quiet, let them draw their own conclusions, and hope for the best or be very technical and when they get a little older get out the diagrams.

Keeping quiet and letting them come to their own conclusions is pretty difficult for me, but the technical method hasn't worked out very well. I tend to over explain things and put a different spin on it, which is one that I feel is acceptable for them. I explained chicken butchering to death (pun intended), but I was at a loss for words about sexing animals and reproduction. I taught inappropriate high schools about the different penis shapes for animal species, actually an entire unit, but I avoid explaining the difference between boy pigs and girl pig.

“The boy pigs have penises by their bellies, and that's where the pee comes out. The girl pigs pee by their bottoms.” My husband informed the kids while we were all standing by the gate watching them. I guess it wasn't too difficult. I don't even think my husband paused to think about what he was going to say.

When my son compared cat copulation to my husband and I, I was pretty concerned that he had seen something he shouldn't have. Then I realized that he really didn't know what he was seeing the cats do, so hugging and kissing was completely acceptable. He only knows what he sees and then relates that to what we tell him. We just need to be the first ones to tell him things and not TV or other kids at school.

I am thankful that the boys can see how animals act, which triggers questions which otherwise wouldn't be thought of until they are tweens and too embarrassed to ask. I guess this is one of the perks of living on a farm.