Daddies Change Diapers Too

Five years ago, after a long day of teaching I walked into the high school office to fill out a trip request form when the secretaries asked me how my sons were. At the time, they were still babies, so talking about crawling, walking, and eating habits were pretty common. My principal came out of his office and said that he was babysitting this weekend. Everyone was quiet waiting for him to explain his comment, and I was just hoping that he wasn't going to say he watching his own kids. He did indeed confirm my suspicion that he was "babysitting" his own children when he said that his wife was going to be out of town. I will never forget that conversation. I remember being angry that a dad would say that, but so grateful that my own husband would never do that. How do I know my husband would never say that? 

When our first son was born, it was pure joy. When our second son was born it was profound harmony in our family. My husband did everything I did. When the baby woke up in the middle of the night, my husband would get out of bed, tip toe to his crib, and bring him to me for his 3am feeding. When he was done eating, my husband changed his diaper, swaddled him, and rocked him back to sleep. When it was time for me to go back to work after maternity leave we didn't have daycare yet, so my husband took vacation to stay home with our son. 

When I was teaching, my husband was forced to be more involved because I was expected to be married to my work. Since I was in a man's job, it was expected that I spend the majority of my time building an excellent Agriculture program. I spent even more time with that program making sure it was a success because so many people expected me to fail because I was a woman. My husband never complained that I was working too much or missing out on all the important things. I was pregnant with our third child before I realized that I would never give up trying to be the best Agriculture teacher, which meant I couldn't be the best mom. So I gave it up. 

Now I get a little irritated when old ladies at the grocery store praise my husband for being able to get groceries and handle all four kids all on his own, or when they say how lucky I am to have such a helpful husband. I roll my eyes and think where the hell is my parade?! My husband knows that I'm not upset with him, I'm pissed as society. The same society that thinks it's okay for fathers to call watching their own children "babysitting."

My husband doesn't babysit, he co-parents. He is raising his children. He is being the best example of what a father, husband, and parent should be. My friend once told me that I got one of the good ones, referring to my husband. I would say that if every father taught their sons how to be a father then every husband would be a good one, not just mine.