My sweet baby girl, Rosina,
Tomorrow we will give you a younger sibling, and you will
have to give up your title as the baby. As we prepare for tomorrow's arrival, I
can't help but think about all the wonderful moments that you blessed us with.
You won't ever remember these little moments, but I will forever hold them
dear. With everything about to change, I take solace in knowing that these
moments will never change. My rose colored glasses will forever stay in place
when I think about all the naps we shared, all the hours I spent holding you,
and all the books we read.
I didn't think our third baby could change our entire world,
but like your older brothers, you did. The moment that you entered the world,
you enchanted us. We spent most of the first day of your life in tears by just
the sight of you. Your delicate features and your trusting gaze were enough to
disarm us. We had been blessed with a healthy, happy, baby girl.
When you were born, I set a goal for us. I whispered to you
in the wee hours of the morning in my hospital bed that I would feed you for
the first year of your life. You looked at me with those big blue eyes and that
sealed our agreement. I nursed you at the zoo, at the park, at the pool, and at
your first birthday party. With that goal met, you made me feel like an
accomplished mother.
Your older brothers and I spent most of our days just
watching you. We were in awe of your little hands and feet, which were
constantly being mauled. Your bows, frills, and pink things were a little frightening
for us all, but your brothers insisted that you wear them.
While your brothers were engaged with dinosaur fights, I
adorned you in crystals, faux pearls, and glass beads. I was charmed by the
jewelry of my grandmother when I was a child. I never new the woman that wore
it, but watching you happily wear the pieces of costume jewelry makes me feel
the connection like nothing else has. I dream of the woman you will
become-elegant and wise, graceful and bold, determined and stubborn.
When I realized that I was carrying your little heart in my
body, I made the decision to stop my career. I have never regretted that
choice. Everyday when I look at you and your brothers, I know it was right for
us. You have never known daycare, which means I was always the lucky one to get
your snuggles, your kisses, your smiles, your laughs, and your “I love yous.” I
didn't have to jealously hear about any of your firsts because I was there to
experience them. I was there cheering for you every wobbly step at a time. You
will never know how much you have given me with your presence. I am the lucky
one that gets to be with you.
I catch myself staring at you, wondering whose carefree
spirit has imprinted on your heart. Your ballerina twirling and horsey hopping
has such a sweet contagious feel that I can't help but join in. Your smile is
like a corner of sunshine after the long snow that requires everyone to smile
back. You make everyone around you happy. Your a wild child that I would be
ashamed to tame.
When you call yourself “Big girl, Sina,” it startles me to
see how grown up you are. I still watch you curl up in your big girl bed and
fall asleep with those same baby sighs that I remember. I still smell your head
and will your hair to grow just like I did when you were an infant swaddled in
my arms. You may get bigger, but I will always try to solve every problem with
a hug, a kiss, and a cookie.
I will never get tired of watching you play. I will never
get tired of brushing the hair from your face. I will never get tired of
painting your little toes. I will never get tired of smelling your head. I will
never get tired of returning your smile. I will never get tired of watching you
wrestle with your brothers. I will never get tired of kissing your owies away.
I will cherish these moments until you feel you are too big for me to do them.
I will keep trying them no matter how old you are. I hope you will never drift
away from me as you grow up.
Your family will always be there for you, to love and
support you, my sweet baby girl, Rosina.
