Dear Rosina

My sweet baby girl, Rosina,

 

Tomorrow we will give you a younger sibling, and you will have to give up your title as the baby. As we prepare for tomorrow's arrival, I can't help but think about all the wonderful moments that you blessed us with. You won't ever remember these little moments, but I will forever hold them dear. With everything about to change, I take solace in knowing that these moments will never change. My rose colored glasses will forever stay in place when I think about all the naps we shared, all the hours I spent holding you, and all the books we read.

 

I didn't think our third baby could change our entire world, but like your older brothers, you did. The moment that you entered the world, you enchanted us. We spent most of the first day of your life in tears by just the sight of you. Your delicate features and your trusting gaze were enough to disarm us. We had been blessed with a healthy, happy, baby girl.

 

When you were born, I set a goal for us. I whispered to you in the wee hours of the morning in my hospital bed that I would feed you for the first year of your life. You looked at me with those big blue eyes and that sealed our agreement. I nursed you at the zoo, at the park, at the pool, and at your first birthday party. With that goal met, you made me feel like an accomplished mother.

 

Your older brothers and I spent most of our days just watching you. We were in awe of your little hands and feet, which were constantly being mauled. Your bows, frills, and pink things were a little frightening for us all, but your brothers insisted that you wear them.

 

While your brothers were engaged with dinosaur fights, I adorned you in crystals, faux pearls, and glass beads. I was charmed by the jewelry of my grandmother when I was a child. I never new the woman that wore it, but watching you happily wear the pieces of costume jewelry makes me feel the connection like nothing else has. I dream of the woman you will become-elegant and wise, graceful and bold, determined and stubborn.

 

When I realized that I was carrying your little heart in my body, I made the decision to stop my career. I have never regretted that choice. Everyday when I look at you and your brothers, I know it was right for us. You have never known daycare, which means I was always the lucky one to get your snuggles, your kisses, your smiles, your laughs, and your “I love yous.” I didn't have to jealously hear about any of your firsts because I was there to experience them. I was there cheering for you every wobbly step at a time. You will never know how much you have given me with your presence. I am the lucky one that gets to be with you.

 

I catch myself staring at you, wondering whose carefree spirit has imprinted on your heart. Your ballerina twirling and horsey hopping has such a sweet contagious feel that I can't help but join in. Your smile is like a corner of sunshine after the long snow that requires everyone to smile back. You make everyone around you happy. Your a wild child that I would be ashamed to tame.

 

When you call yourself “Big girl, Sina,” it startles me to see how grown up you are. I still watch you curl up in your big girl bed and fall asleep with those same baby sighs that I remember. I still smell your head and will your hair to grow just like I did when you were an infant swaddled in my arms. You may get bigger, but I will always try to solve every problem with a hug, a kiss, and a cookie.

 

I will never get tired of watching you play. I will never get tired of brushing the hair from your face. I will never get tired of painting your little toes. I will never get tired of smelling your head. I will never get tired of returning your smile. I will never get tired of watching you wrestle with your brothers. I will never get tired of kissing your owies away. I will cherish these moments until you feel you are too big for me to do them. I will keep trying them no matter how old you are. I hope you will never drift away from me as you grow up.

 

Your family will always be there for you, to love and support you, my sweet baby girl, Rosina.