Countdown to the End: Day 13

It’s Cinco de Mayo today. I graduated from Iowa State University 8 years ago today. I will always remember it as Cinco de Mayo because I wanted to have a fiesta party instead of walking across the stage to receive my diploma. My parents won and I walked across the stage, and then they took me to a Mexican restaurant to celebrate.

Above: Our baby girl was born in December, 2015.
Below: My dairy foods science team, which received
4th place at State FFA competition.

First hour today one of my students asked if I was pregnant. I replied, “I look pregnant?” He said that he can just tell when teachers are, they start wearing black, look tired, and moody. I replied with raised eyebrows, “I’m moody?” He said that today I just look sad. To divert the attention away from myself I asked him more questions. I really didn’t want to lie to him, but I am pregnant. I have had morning sickness really bad all day long for the past week. It’s been very difficult to teach. Today I went to the doctors office, and a substitute covered for me at noon. My students are starting to get suspicious that something is going on. I don’t plan to tell them I’m pregnant because I’m only 7 weeks along. 

I had a miscarriage at the beginning of the school year that was devastating. I blamed the school and my job for the miscarriage. Now I don’t as much. The day it happened it was 100 degree heat, and the middle school second floor in the afternoon was an inferno. We didn’t get out early for heat, who knows why. The next morning, Saturday, I had to take a team of 4 students to dairy foods science state competition. The OB nurse that I talked to on the phone told me to stay in bed and try to rest and relax. I humored her and said okay, but I didn’t have a choice. Four students worked so hard to go to state competition, and I had to take them. Now I have accepted that it could have happened regardless of any environmental conditions. Although I’m still nervous and worried about this pregnancy. The morning sickness reminds me that the baby is alive and well. It definitely adds stress to my teaching, but it takes my mind off the fact that I only have 12 more days of my teaching career. Twelve more days to make a difference to someone, 12 more days to sell all the plants in the greenhouse, and 12 more days to plant 52 acres of soybeans.

I know I made the right decision because my life won’t be defined by dates and deadlines anymore.