Today the bus left at 6:45am out of the
high school parking lot with 20 students. Today was day 2 of State
FFA Leadership Conference. We went up on stage and won a few plaques
and awards. I spent 12 hours with students and I had such mixed
emotions throughout the day. By lunch time I was so glad that I
wasn’t coming back to teaching. Students were acting immature, and
they really couldn’t handle it. I was the badass mother by noon
today.
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| South Tama received these plaques and awards. |
After lunch when we won the awards and
students went up on stage, I had a sophomore student ask me how he
could get up on stage to win an award. This broke my heart because I
couldn’t tell him how. I didn’t know how because I wasn’t going
to be his teacher anymore. If more students asked that question and
they followed my instructions to meet that goal, I would think twice
about leaving. Every student wants to be up on stage at state, but
very few are willing to work for it. I know what it takes to win, but
if they aren’t dedicated enough to work at it I can’t get them up
on stage.
At the last session I gave my students
instructions of where to meet up after they walked across the stage.
My student said he wanted to stay, and I said that could be arranged.
I was kidding around, and he said “you just need to enjoy
this…..it’s your last one.” This was all through a text
message, so he didn’t see the devastated look on my face. I’m
always rushing around getting students where they need to be and
doing head counts that I forgot that this is my last session ever. I
tried to do what he said. I really tried to enjoy it. I stopped
poking students to stay awake, or to put their feet down, or to put
their phones away, or to stop rudely yawning loudly, or to stop
wearing a Birthday Buffalo paper hat. I sat back and listened to the
speaker. The one story that really stuck with me was that he compared
life to cheating on a test. Obviously, since I’m a teacher hearing
the words cheating on a test got my attention. He told the story of
how he made up a test when his teacher was teaching another class.
The different class was also taking a test that day, and another
classmate cheated off of his test. Since it wasn’t his class it was
a different test. He compared that to life. He explained that we all
aren’t taking the same tests, but we try to take the same tests in
life and “cheat” off of each other. We all have different
strengths and weaknesses that make us ideal for certain vocations,
but yet we try to fit into the same mold.
I know I made the right decision
because I will raise my own children and not someone else's.
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